How the Appalachian Trail Ruined my Life / Post Trail Depression

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Tags: Appalachian Trail,AT,AT Thru-Hike,Thru-Hike,Backpacking,Hiking,Adventure,Long Distance Hiking,Trail,Hiker Trash,Post Trail Depression,UL Backpacking,AZT,CDT,Arizona Trail,PCT,Pacific Crest Trail

Video Transcription

hey guys it's Darwin so today I wanted to talk about a couple of serious topics number one how the Appalachian Trail ruined my life for the better and how to deal with post trail depression [Music]

all right so I joke a lot of times with people on how the a tea ruined my life and so I kind of wanted to you know talk about that and kind of tell you what that means to me number one snuggles and I came from a small town in Indiana we had a house we've been married eight years at that point we owned a house for about five years

we both had careers and we were kind of getting bored on the weekends we would do a lot of traveling we would go backpacking or hiking I raced triathlon at the time but we were constantly going to other places and not really enjoying the house that we had and the conventional life that we were living so we decided to set out and hike the Appalachian Trail to get a change of scenery now obviously it was a huge culture shock of going from working the nine-to-five every single day doing the same thing coming home making dinner watching TV and going to bed like the typical average American does and going out to the Appalachian Trail where we weren't on a certain schedule we were in nature we could eat what we wanted we were seeing different things we were sleeping in a new place every night we were eating breakfast in a new place every morning so it ended up being one of the greatest things that we had ever done in our entire lives out of all of the years that I raced triathlon out of all of the places that I visited and traveled I've never had a better experience in my life than the experiences that I had on the Appalachian Trail as a lot of hikers are nearing the end of their hike all they're wanting to do is get back to normal life and stop hiking number one after a while it kind of becomes you know like a job you're doing the same thing every day so you kind of want to change a pace but I can tell you firsthand experience when you get off of the trail it's all you think about from there on out so you've spent four to six months doing this amazing adventure meeting new people seeing amazing things and doing something different every single day and then you're kind of thrown back into society and back into that normal

life and for most of us it's pretty hard to digest going from this exciting adventurous life to this kind of boring nine-to-five typical life that at one time was fine but now since you've experienced something better it kind of makes everything else seem like a drag so what are some of the ways that the eighty has ruined my life number one going back to a nine-to-five job doesn't give me the mental and physical challenges that I experienced while doing it through height you know the great thing about doing it through hike is every day you're getting up and you're hiking you're climbing mountains and you're seeing these amazing views and at the end of the day when you're tired and you're hungry you feel like you've accomplished something you know you you've you've hiked 15 to 20 miles up and down mountains you've met new people you've seen new things so you feel super accomplished the problem with that nine-to-five job is at the end of the day after I get done working I don't feel like I've seen anything I don't feel like I've made a difference in my life

I don't feel accomplished now obviously it's great to have money to save up money so I can do future trips and stuff but there's this little bit of piece missing right so you go four to five months kind of having all of this adventure and all of these these great accomplishments to kind of this boring I didn't really do much today yeah I hope people and I talk to people and I made other people's lives better but I didn't make my own life better so there's this weird lack of accomplishment from that day-to-day routine number two I want to keep moving again four to six months every single day moving never sleeping in the same spot never waking up in the same spot never eating dinner in the same spot it is really hard to go to the same place every day and come back to the same place every day after you get off of a trail like the Appalachian Trail you want to keep moving which is why most people that do through hikes continue to do other through hikes or do some sort of traveling it's why snuggles and I are renovating a tribe trailer moving into it and hitting the road again at the end of this year because we want to keep moving so it's really hard to stay still and just kind of accept that that's life I kind of Drive myself nuts sometimes and it's why I do so many trips it's why I did the Arizona Trail in October it's why I'm going to do this section of the Continental Divide Trail next week it's why I'm going out to hike the PCT next month because I need to keep moving I kind of have this desire inside of me that wants to see new things every day and have new experiences and it's really hard to do that when you're in the same place things moving too fast so one of the huge things that most hikers notice when they return to civilization is everything's on a schedule and traffic's moving fast and time time time and you're working and the times going when you're on the trail time moves at a natural pace it's slow you enjoy your day you have these long days and then whenever you get back into civilization everything's fast moving you know it happened to us when we got off of the 80 and 15 and when we got off the 18 16 instantly getting in a car and driving everything was too fast and that's still true to today a lot of times like I just want to slow down and I want to enjoy my day and everything around me is moving so fast and people are so go-go-go and it's hard to make that adjustment to get back into that you kind of put your body in this natural time zone and then you're kind of thrown back into this super fast-paced society so that's really hard to deal with too and then another big one that I've noticed and I've heard other people talk about is it's really hard to relate to people when you get off the 80 unless it's hikers you spend 4 to 6 months around like-minded people everyday people are doing the same thing that you're doing trying to accomplish the same goal that you're trying to accomplish so whenever you come back to society and you're at work and you're talking to the people that have never experienced things like that it's really hard to talk to people you feel like you can't we connect with anybody because you have all these great massive experiences and these horrible stories of being tired and cold and wet and these great stories of climbing this mountain and seeing this amazing view and it doesn't matter who you tell it to and how you tell it to them they'll never understand it because they weren't there so it's a really hard thing to deal with and a lot of times I feel like I am kind of disconnected from people because I still feel like I live in that world inside my head and I'm constantly planning new trips to continue to see things like that and everyone around me that's kind of stuck in that nine-to-five doesn't know that feeling so it's really hard to relate that to people they just don't understand and nothing against you know other people it's just whenever you're on the trail and you're talking to people that are like-minded they get it they know it or whenever you run into someone in civilization that's done it through hike they get it they know it but your typical person that's never experienced that it's really hard to have a conversation and it's also kind of hard to turn that off you know it's really hard for me to kind of have a conversation with somebody without including something about through hiking without something about the Appalachian Trail I kind of can't start a conversation without it it's kind of engrained into me and I kind of have to talk about it I have to let it out so it's hard to make those connections with people all right so all of these things connect to something that you'll hear a lot of people talk about and that is post trail depression a post route depression is very real so all of these things that I'm talking about kind of just build up and it kind of makes you depressed whenever you're not out in nature and you're not on a trail you kind of feel alone and you feel lost and the reason is is again because you can't connect with anybody you can't share those experiences and once you've been in nature and you've you've experienced this amazing journey getting taken out of it it's depressing man it's really compressing so do I have it yeah any hiker that is not hiking and is not on a trail right now that says that they don't have post trail depression thank their lion I think that everybody has it it's just something that becomes a part of you and it's it feels like home you know when I see pictures of the Appalachian Trail or even when I make these videos for you guys me talking about it I feel like I'm at home I feel like I'm at home because I can I can share my experiences and I can relive those things through story and video and pictures it makes me feel home so when I'm not doing that I'm home sick and that's a form of depression so postural depression is very real and most all of us go through it how do you cope with it hike get it out talk make videos you know one of the ways that I've been able to deal with postural depression after 2015

when me and snuggles had to get off of the trail early was making these videos and starting this YouTube channel without starting this channel I don't know how I would have dealt with my post trail depression having you guys subscribed to my channel and watching my videos has really helped me get over that and be able to talk about my experiences so I thank you guys for helping me deal with my post trial depression I definitely still have it so you know again that's why I'm going out to do this Continental Divide Trail hike that's why I'm going to go hike the PCT to deal with my post trail depression it's why I do you know at least once or twice a week I put on a fully loaded pack a fully loaded pack even if I'm not going anywhere

and I go for a day hike with a full pack on to deal with that depression so it's a real thing it does exist if you're planning on doing a thru-hike just know that you will probably deal with some yourself and there's ways to cope with it I definitely get connected with other hikers you know share some media relive those experiences because it's terrible and it can definitely put you down alright guys so hopefully you enjoyed this video do you have postural depression have you done a hike are you worried about it leave me some comments in the comment box below and tell me what you think if you haven't got a chance yet go over and check me out on Instagram I've been posting a lot of new photos plus I'll be posting a photo a day from my section hike of the CDT next week so make sure that you're over there following me so you can check out all those awesome photos go ahead and like or dislike this video subscribe to my channel if you haven't already and as always guys thanks for watching you

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